Disappointment

disappointed

Adjective
1) (of a person) Sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one’s hopes or expectations.
2) (of hopes or expectations) Prevented from being realized.
(Source online dictionary)

Growing up/old never seems to get easier and all too often I find that disappointment (or as I see it, Mr Disappointment – as in my imagination I see disappointment as man, a dour looking bloke in a shabby trench coat) who arrives just when you are getting used to thinking things are settled in your life.

Mr Disappointment hadn’t been so pushy when I was little. Back then he was just a fleeting shadow, whenever I missed a favourite TV programme or a friend couldn’t come out to play, he never stayed with me for any length of time. As I grew into my teens I found he made more appearances but again just for short periods.

Then as I grew older I found I could bring him into my life very simply by expecting too much of anything or anyone including myself, at times he seemed like a constant companion. I have qualify my disappointments tended focus inwardly more as I got older on how I disappointed myself by failing to do things right. I started to learn people and things that I attached too much to was futile. The measure (my measure) on what I thought should happen or who someone should be was just a big neon sign saying to Mr Disappointment “come on in”. In truth not setting this measure is hard but harder when you try to not apply it to yourself. Other people I can come to my senses and realise I expected too much. But me and my inabilities to manage me or situations well thats another story, disappointment in myself well there’s a battle that rages more than I would like to admit.

Having talked to a young lady this week about the challenges young people face, we spoke a lot about how the young men in her circle often talked about how they don’t want to fail, but of course we all do. I had jumped initialy to the assumption it was more in her generation, (because they are a achievement driven culture – they all want to be the best and quickly). But then I came to realise fear of failure and disappointment is everywhere – age doesn’t always help.

It wouldn’t be so bad but most of what doesn’t go right in our life is not within our gift to avoid or fix, eg the recession, jobs, loco bosses, our health.

On a day when I can say I seen Mr Disappointment up close and personal, for me and others. I wonder just how long he plans to stay this time. And what is my strategy to give him the slip. This I strategise is managed by finding perspective, my disappointment at a flight cancelled was minimum, seeing my friend lose out the chance of a break might not be entirely fixable but we could still spend time on a adventure. Listening to another friend who has family concerns is a wake up call that Mr Disappointment needs to be educated that he can only stay as long as I will allow. My response to him matters and if I get busy and consider whether I can be any help to someone else (usually I miss this but I try) he fades away.

Mr Disappointment can mess up everything and take away time better spent elsewhere. Surely Life wasn’t meant to allow him free reign so why should I. Maybe he can be kept as a fleeting shadow, if I keep my expectations reasonable but flexible, I keep my perspective right and I get on with life. Accepting life is a series of ups and downs is harder to do than say. But I am going to try hard as Mr Disappointment smells too, quicker he goes the better….