The manual could be wrong….

“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.”
― Marilyn Monroe

This week I am playing mum to two hairy four legged babies, who are the treasures of my friends Lady G and Lord P. Who have ventured off with the family to the sunny escapades of Florida USA.
This being only my second day on the job, I need to confess that even though Lady G left me a manual (she pronounced it maaannnnuelll…being the refined and organised person she is) things just don’t work out as planned.

Firstly she expected me to read the said maaannnnuelll, which to a person like me who doesn’t bother with instructions for electrical goods was rather naive of her I thought. Instead I only read it after I find that I am unable to switch on/turn off something like the TV which kept turning back on as I left the room for bed! Very paranormal or just the wrong button as it turned out. Then there is the things that are wrong in the maaaannuelll, such as how much each dog should be fed. Lady G got the amounts mixed up for each dog. So instead of the little dog Granville getting a measured dose of his favourite kibble he must have felt like a king for the day as I tripled his dinner. A fat king after he had finished, while Gracie a more delicate dog ate her small portion without complaint. Then there are the things NOT in the maaaannnuelll, such as when Lady L and I took my charges to the seaside for a race along the dunes, they come home and make the whole house smell like damp dog for the next 24 hours. Ahem, maybe I should note that in the maaanuelll!

I am not having a go at the still very comprehensive maaaannnuelll, no it’s a great idea. In fact as I consider house/pet sitting as my career for when I retire, (so much do I like living in other people spaces at least for a while), I think the maaaannnuelll is a great Invention. It’s just its not fool proof (not that I admit to being the fool but if the cap fits). No I have come to realise just like life sometimes you have to just do it and learn from the experience.

However I do agree parts of my life could do with a maaaannnuelll, but it still wouldn’t matter, I would still wait till I was struggling before looking it up or find that bit of life guidance was missing anyway. This week as I stay with Lady G’s babies and pray I will lose my sense of smell, I have finally agreed to change a part of my life that the maaaannuelll missed out. Although in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn’t working I still didn’t want to change it, such is the stubbornness of my will. Especially as it involved other people who I care about (easier if you can’t stick them -right?). And is down right impossible when the other people involved have a different perspective on it. Oh and it also has a big bunch of emotions attached to it, which is just code for hurt is on its way so watch out!

But in the end whether its a detailed instruction or a omission, you got to live it anyway. You only really learn the lesson by living it – (don’t ya?)

A old pastor of mine told me that life lessons are not linear, they are more of a coil. You don’t live the lesson and go directly to the next one. no we are more stupid than that (I think he was meaning everyone not just me…..). Simply put he said “That when we don’t learn through a life lesson, its repeated until we do. Whether its consequences from bad habits or wrong doings to others or relationships. We just keep looping back (and suffering the consequences) until we learn that we need to change what we are doing, how we are thinking or what we are focusing on, in order to get where we are suppose to be in this life.

Needless to say I have now read Lady G maaannnnuelll from cover to cover, while it didn’t help me make my life change (I did that anyway) it did mention the wine stash they left me. I have made a mental note to always at least skim the maaannnnuelll in the future, you never know a head start mightn’t be such a bad thing in the future…….

Have you any change?…..,

I reckon I could be called an avid fan of Change Management – John Kotter the Godfather of the academic subject talks about 8 stages of change and I have studied them all. He is of course talking about business but its not so different for real life.
Change is a topic that everyone HAS to deal with. I know some people standstill in the hope that life will not change but it does anyway, time moves on, nothing ever stays quite the same, its just life. Yesterday Son Number 1 left home again, this time for China, he is a brave soul who is challenging himself each time. Are you excited or scared I ask, he just shrugs his shoulders and says a bit of both or neither – whatever that means. This change has impacted on me, more than anything else I have experienced, after years (50 and 7 months to be exact) I am finally going to live alone! (Well not counting the 8 legs attached to 2 felines). I can’t say I am either excited or scared, maybe a little of both like Son Number 1.

Thinking about it, maybe its because I think everything that happens, really does have a point to it. The boys are finally having an adventure and maybe I am going to figure out my life too. I really do like the potential change offers. Am I just positive? (er…. No) am I delusional after all some changes are decidedly awful ? ( I can’t answer that, I am not aware enough!). But with every change I think we grow, that is if we learn from it (not that I always do). After taking a psych test once I was labelled authentic! Reading about it later I discovered that authentic people (or to put another way those of us who are so open we may be arrest for indecency) are not unique, its just a character type, who are fascinated by life and see it as a unfolding story (yes I think that’s fair to say).

At the last Team Day we discussed Our Story, in other words, Our Life, where it began etc. Those first chapters of our life are important they form us ; our mores and values, ambitions and fears, but it doesn’t have to define us (does it?).

Change I think is the catalyst for growth. Change says, you are not finished yet, there is more to learn, more you can give and more that you are going to love, so no giving up. Remember LGO Principal – Life Goes On and if it doesn’t, be happy you believe in a after life!

I see Change as a man, he is a big fella, looks a lot like John Coffey from The Green Mile (remember him?). Yes, he is big and a little scary, but he has a job to do and he doesn’t mean to scare you or make you feel bad, but he has to do what he has to do, no stopping him. Understanding this makes me feel comfortable (most of the time). When I see Mr Change (as sometimes I don’t see him, as often he is slow and very quiet, almost undetectable to the naked eye, or I am too busy to notice him) I will look to see if he has a smile or look of concern on his big face. a smile means its great change like a new friend or an unexpected trip, while a concerned look, means he fears I am not going to like this change, maybe I will wobble out of control (he doesn’t like that it makes his job harder). When I do wobble, I then waste time in calming down (as you have to), after which I nod to Mr Change and try to remember, he is here to grow me and he will not kill me (thats Mr Fears job). Mr Change (John Coffey)just smiles and pushes me along and reinforces that things change for a reason, even if you can’t see it yet, and reminds me that there are more good days than bad that’s the rule….